Split Mirage
by FieryFafar
Summary: N and Mei took the Ferris wheel ride together. And N regretted it as each passing second reminded him of her.


_You look so much like her…_

Mei laughed as she gazed at the stars and the moon. Her beautiful aqua eyes twinkled as she flashed the brightest of smiles. Her palms pressed against the clear window, the tip of her nose even touching the glass as she looked down.

_Your smile…Your smile reminds me of her…_

He regretted entering the cargo with her. He regretted to be sitting near her, facing her and spending these horrible, torturing moments with her. His hands had been shaking ever since. His heart had been racing, hurting his chest like a hammer through a fragile wall. Fingers meeting and cupping to a fist, N brought it to his quivering mouth. He closed his eyes, wanting to wash away the image that triggered the ache that clawed his chest.

Sadly, all he could hear was her laugh; soothing, beautiful, charming, one that could calm a person with ease.

It was unbearable. It hadn't been 2 minutes and it was terrifyingly unbearable.

_Please… Please stop…_ He prayed in his heart for her to be quiet. He prayed for her to just disappear so that the pain would magically go away.

"Oh wow look at that! There's a show down there!" Mei continued to cheer pleasantly, oblivious to the sorrow that clouded the man in front of her. "N, you gotta see this!"

The way she spoke his name: that was like a punch in the gut.

His nails dug inside the back of his hands. A breath was stuck inside his throat, swirling and clogging his ability to breathe. Finally, after what he felt like an eternity, N forced a heavy gulp and slowly opened his eyes. He immediately focused on the window near him rather than the girl herself. "Where?" he asked calmly; voice perfectly masking the true pain that choked his very heart and soul.

"There!" Mei pointed, one finger pressing against the glassed window. "I can see a juggler and I think that's a dancing Snorlax." She giggled adorably at such a humorous sight. One hand cupping her mouth, Mei finally dropped her gaze at the lone man in front of him. She saw as N let his attention drift to the people and Pokémon below. His eyes glistened under the dim light of the cargo. His mouth was partially hidden by his fists, enabling her to see only the left corner of his unmoving lips.

Her curiosity peaked. Head tilting slightly to the right, Mei quietly called him. "Hey N."

His heart quaked to hear his name being called by her. Because to him, it wasn't Mei's voice that rang in his ears – but it was White's.

His eyes rolled to meet her face. An expression of sheer serenity was masterly worn on his face. "Yes?"

However, that sturdy mask that he had built for years rattled frailly once he saw her smile.

And it didn't help that her question was, "Are you okay?"

Pupils dilated at such a surprising question. Was he that easy to read nowadays? Was he not such an enigmatic person once, able to deceive humans from seeing the true emotions that defined him? Did he lose his touch ever since he went off to faraway places?

Or was she just too good?

N knew it was pointless hiding the reasons from a girl that bared such mesmerizing, heart-aching eyes. "I am fine." He replied shortly, a small, forced smile tugging the edge of his mouth. "I just…feel nostalgic, I guess." His eyes went back to the window, basking in the view, but mostly avoiding the stare that felt like magnet to him.

"Nostalgic?" Curiosity only heightened as she brought the question further. Mei blinked in confusion, seeing and waiting for the tall man to explain his situation.

She saw him drew a breath, then the air he blew sounded heavy and slow, as if trying to expel the burden that weighed his heart. "A friend of mine…" he muttered, tone barely audible if not for the fact that they were mere inches apart. "She…We…rode this Ferris wheel together." His grip around his hands tightened. "It was actually an unforgettable moment for both of us." A dry, spiteful chuckle dripped through shaking lips.

Silence and focus were all the girl was as he spoke. Woe was heard. Longing was seen. Finally, when it was his turn to regain a quiet composure, Mei pursed her lips and carefully asked, "Where is she now?"

She might have exaggerated, but Mei could actually see his life shattering like glass once that question was given.

"I-I-I mean-" Panic washed her face once she realized what she might have crossed the line. "-you don't need to answer. It's just me asking questions and being snooty." A dumb laugh was coughed as Mei brought her hand to the back of her head. "Sorry if I offended you in any way-"

"She's out there somewhere."

Mei stopped as his voice echoed in the still cargo. Her eyes were round in blank bafflement, giving two little blinks as N remained his vision through the window.

"I don't know where she is, but I know she's out there…" N murmured a soft muse. "Making dreams come true is hard. I wonder if we will meet again..." His words were faint in anyone's ears, but it sounded more like a loud, menacing echo vehemently screaming inside his brain, convincing him of the hopes that seemed futile every time it was brought into thought.

Suddenly, he felt a gentle tap on his left knee. The simple brush made him jump nevertheless. His clasp broke, hands slapping and pressed against his laps. His eyes widened and were shot forward, seeing no one but a brown-haired girl laughing at such an unexpected reaction.

"Sorry for startling you." Mei giggled guiltlessly, hands retracted and closing her mouth out of politeness. She opened an eye to take a peek at him. N didn't seem happy at her amusement. Or rather, he was still shocked from the faint form of contact. "Well, sometimes, people say that if you believe hard enough, it will come true."

N blinked dumbfoundedly at such a foolish theory. However, silence pressed his mouth shut, letting her speak what was in her mind.

"I mean, sure destiny works in many ways. It's sometimes unbearable and confusing just thinking about it." Mei looked away timidly as she advised. Even though her giving advices was a normal trait obtained after all the years of comforting and reasoning with Hyu, Mei felt embarrassed to be consoling a man that she just knew in less than a month. "But it's also filled with surprises and wonders. Kinda like opening presents until you found the perfect one." She plucked up the courage and looked at N, who seemed to be baffled at her statement. "In the end, destiny will come itself. All you gotta do is never give up and always expect the unexpected. Keep chasing and believing. That's what my mom always tells me."

Bewilderment clouded N's mind to hear her words. He gawked as Mei emitted another childish giggle, obviously embarrassed with the advice she gave him.

He almost forgot to breathe when Mei locked eyes with him.

"If you believe that your friend is out there, you'll find her." A smile curved her lips, so breathtakingly sincere that N needed to dig his nails into his palms to break free from the trance.

She reminded him so much of her. And that was truly, excruciatingly painful.

Although said, N didn't know how or why he was able to form even the simplest of smiles. "Thank you…"

Her mouth burst into a giggle. His heart shattered into a million pieces.

"You're welcome, N."

* * *

"Well, I guess I'll see you later then." Mei waved happily as she rode on Penelope's back. The Altaria cooed lovingly as she felt her trainer softly patting her head. Both humans stood near the entrance of the Ferris wheel after finishing their ride and time together. The brunette turned to look at N, who was busy looking up at the structure of the majestic contraption.

It somehow saddened her to see him in so much pain.

"You take care, alright?" A yawn escaped her mouth. Her arms were raised and stretched. "It's getting late. You might wanna bunk in somewhere before it gets too dark-"

"Thank you."

She stopped once his voice entered her ears. Mei looked forward, now seeing an honest smile on his calm face. "Thank you…for the advice."

A nice shade of pink tinted her cheeks. She was thankful it was dark, so the blush wasn't too vivid in his eyes. "It's nothing." Mei waved her right hand bashfully, the other hand pressing her laughing mouth.

His smile softened to see such behaviour.

"Well," With a soft tap on the side of Penelope's neck, Mei commanded her Pokémon to take flight. "See you later, N!" She flashed a joyful smile, once again waving at N as she was brought higher and higher into the sky until finally, she was gone from his sight.

N waved back with one hand while his left hand was hidden inside the pocket of his pants. He watched as she disappeared into the night sky. He watched as the remainder of her voice was drowned by the sounds of civilization. He watched as the words of a few minutes ago echoed in his ears.

He watched as a single tear trickled down his cheek.

His hands stopped. His fingers clenched. His shoulders shook. The smile he wore was tugged downward, again quivering as he bit back a whimper.

"_If you believe that your friend is out there, you'll find her." _

_**END.**_

**0.0.0 **

**writing sad fictional boys always makes me happy**


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